Sunday, May 20, 2012

lama udah ku inda check blogku ni..barutah ku masuk..since last year.macam nda bguna jua ku buka blog ni..tai ku cuba activekan kalau ku inda busy,since busy with work,playing PS3 and LOL ( League of Legend ) games and hangout with my friends. Lagipun ku buka pasal tringatkan somethinglah...........as I open her blog and read it.walaupun inda active,tapi ku slalu visit blognya.n read her old post.ku tau plg ia busy with her work.tapi just her know, i always love her very much. I want to go back as we used to. She changes because of me. She doesnt trust me and possible don't love me anymore. I tried to make her love me. But it seems she rather spendtime with her friends and her colleague in her workplace than me. She doesnt want to share anything with me. she doesn't care about me.I've known her long time than her friends. I don't want to control her. Everyday I gave her space and time and I believe her what she's doing.. I'm not being overprotective too.If I'm being overprotective, I probably visit her in her workplace everyday, or suruh one of my colleague that works in her place,to know what she's doing. But I'm not. because i believe in her. Everyday I prayed for her and her families and mine too. Then I went to mosque every thursday with or without my friends. I'm not mad at her or anything. memanglah every couple,tetap da kelaie..p reasonnya untuk improve and understand each other in relationship. Tapi tetap jua ku bersabar. and ku inda mau kelaie sama ia lagi. adakah ku ni,nda strict orgnya? o am I being overprotective? o adakah ku ni, inda layak bercinta? If I've known this, udah lama ku blayar ke overseas utk blajar for degree course slama 3 years. Tapi ku reject,why? one of it is, I know my limits.kalau ku ambil pun,mun malar fail saja,sia2 jua n hampa jua familyku.but most of the reasons is because of HER. time tu ku accept offer dari universities in KL and accept offer jua oleh private company.aku masih ingat time tu, bila ku ckp ku mau blajar tapi ku mau jua kraja. bila ku ckp,ku kan kraja, She's happy and she said "baguslah,and jgnth jauh2 wah.ku tnggu daddyku dua minggu kaja,dah rindu,patah lagi kau blajar dsana,lama lagi tu". " I DON"T WANT TO LOSE YOU" she said. thats her words I still remembered till now. I reject my offer studies because of her. Now I dont know what to do. Should I let her go or continue be with her? I love her so much. She's everything to me. As long as i keep praying and keep patient, I would do anything for her. The reasonnya lagi,for the last 2 months,ni..someone 8*17*4 this number threatened me to broke up..or else I send someone persuasive person to broke you up. pikir main2 saja,rupanya banar2..after that time ku jogging dkampong,ada orgkan langgar aku..nasib aku lari or find somewhere safe.then esuknya,ia text me lagi,suruh aku buat ia trauma..I dun understand why the shit happens to me. Last2 aku jua buat ia trauma..I had to... for sake of her.

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